I am on a letter writing campaign.
Third week of school five phone calls,
two pick ups and one sick day.
( ...and you were wondering why I don't work?)
I needed a better system.
This is what I've worked out.
Dear Mrs. School Nurse,
I am thinking it might be useful to begin using a "Gasparino Alert System" much like Homeland Security.
Let's call it *G.A.S.* for short.
This will statistically average out the chances of an actual Gasparino attending school or visiting the nurse on a single day.
This will replace the "Stuff on the Bus and Pray" system as it has been found to have too many flaws and be ineffective.
Red = Gasparino actually sick and staying home
Red Orange = Gasparino may or may not have - rashes/coughing/upchuck noises from bathroom ( possibly getting sick - but could be faking)
Orange = Gasparino may have symptoms such as "my finger hurts" and "there's a red spot on my leg"
Orange Yellow = Gasparino uses statements like "I didn't get any sleep my brother coughed on me all night" and "The racoon in the garbage kept me up"
Yellow = Gasparino forgot lunch money at home
Green = Gasparino Mother is going out within a 50 miles radius and is no way making that @*&%#$@ drive to pick any of them up today
Based on this system today would be a
*Red Orange* day ( I was sick yesterday and am trying to get another day out of it subcategory)
Please let me know if you have any questions regarding this new system.
Sincerly, Patricia Gasparino
Yes it's all true and yes I sent it.
Nurses need to laugh too.
I might even squeeze in a bead table post
if I don't have to pick up anyone at school.